I slumped down into a chair and chewed over the title I had just been given in the gallery.

“A doctor whose hands are trash but who’s good at securing airways, who saved a patient but almost killed them.”

A curse almost slipped out, but the fact that it was undeniably true only made it more miserable.

I stood up with a rotten expression.

Either way, work still had to be done.
At least until the chain called a salary finally came off in this hell.

I stripped off the bloodstained gown and changed into a fresh one.

My steps down the hallway toward the station felt like they weighed a thousand tons.

I could feel all the nurses and doctors at the station sneaking glances at me after what had just happened.

That first-year who caused that huge incident just now.
That was probably what they were whispering.

I forced myself to ignore the stares and tried to return to my seat.

That was when it happened.

“Hey.”

A cold, indifferent voice came from behind me.

It was the third-year, Han Jae-eon.

My heart dropped.

So it’s come.

The crime of a first-year daring to perform an invasive procedure alone without senior approval.

Bracing myself for the hellish scolding that was about to begin, I turned around as politely as I could.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Han Jae-eon stood there with her arms crossed, looking down at me with a completely blank expression.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“You, uh…”

She paused, choosing her words.

“You did well.”

…What?

I lifted my head, wondering if I’d misheard.

“You really did well.
First-years can’t do that.
No, seriously.
I’m not just saying it.
When bleeding is that bad, even third- or fourth-years usually panic and can’t move their hands properly.
But you handled it alone.”

My brain froze at the unexpected praise.

I stared at her blankly, and then her voice dropped a notch.

“But…”

Ah.

Of course.

This “but” after praise was the real main point.

“You didn’t think about a surgical airway?”

The exact point those crazy ghosts had torn me apart over.

I couldn’t say anything, my lips just twitching.

“Ah…”

Seeing my reaction, Han Jae-eon let out a deep sigh.

“Hyeon-jae.
Get a grip.
Do you know how dangerous a gamble what you just did was?
What do you think would’ve happened if intubation had failed?”

…

“That patient would’ve died right in front of you.
Either drowned in blood or suffered brain damage from hypoxia.
And you?
You’d be facing a medical lawsuit for professional negligence causing death, and your life would be over.
No matter how good your intentions were, if the result is death, it doesn’t matter.
Do you understand?”

“…Yes.”

Every word was true.

Because it succeeded, it could be dressed up as a heroic decision, but if it had failed, I would have lost everything.

I bowed my head deeply.

There was no excuse I could make.

Then Han Jae-eon’s voice softened again.

“But…”

She lightly tapped my shoulder.

“You really did well.
You saved him.”

With that, Han Jae-eon turned around and went on her way.

I stood there for a long time, rooted to the spot.

It felt like I’d gone to hell and back.

Praise and scolding.
Advice and warm acknowledgment.

That’s what a real senior is like.

I was standing there blankly when loud footsteps came running from the pediatric ER in Zone C.

“Huff… huff… Han Hyeon-jae!!!
Where are you!!!”

I turned my head to see the chief resident, Lee Min-jae, sprinting toward me.

His white gown was plastered with pink character stickers of unknown origin.

He must have been tormented by kids all day.

“Is it true?!
What I just heard from the nurse!!!
Is it really true?!?!”

The moment he reached me, Lee Min-jae grabbed both my shoulders and shook me like a madman.

I felt like I was going to get dizzy.

“A tonsillectomy patient!
Blood spraying out of his throat like a fountain?!
And you, alone, shoved a tube in?!
Is this real, you lunatic!!!”

At the commotion, everyone at the station turned to look at me again.

I didn’t even have the energy to answer and just nodded.

A bizarre smile mixing ecstasy and madness spread across Lee Min-jae’s face.

“Yes!
I knew it!
I told you, you’re EM, not internal medicine!”

…Here we go again.

“This is it!
This right here!
That boldness to calmly save a patient’s life in a blood-soaked chaos!
That’s the heart of a true emergency physician!
What do those internal medicine guys know?!
They just stare at charts and numbers like old scholars!
But you’re different!
You proved it with action!
Your blood runs hot like ours!”

Then, with exaggerated, theatrical movements, Lee Min-jae pulled me into a hug.

Buried against the character stickers on his gown, I thought to myself.

Why do my shifts keep overlapping with yours of all people?

When will this cursed karmic tie ever end?

I just wanted all of this chaos to end as soon as possible.

But Lee Min-jae showed no sign of letting me go.

Still gripping my shoulder, he continued showering me with praise.

“This is what I saw in you!
Those internal medicine guys will sit at desks their whole lives, twirling pens!
But us?
We pull lives back with our own hands in a hell where blood splatters and bones break!
You’re not just a doctor!
You’re a warrior!
A warrior fighting for patients on the front line called the ER!”

Warrior, my ***.

I’m just a salaried slave who wants to go home.

Lee Min-jae was having a full one-man musical, moved by his own emotions.

I was starting to feel awe at his lung capacity when his eyes suddenly lit up.

Like someone who’d realized a grand mission.

“No.
This has to be shared.”

…Shared what?

“We have to tell the professor!
That there’s talent like this in our emergency department!
We can’t keep being looked down on by internal medicine!”

“Excuse me?
Uh, wait, sir?”

My attempt to stop him didn’t reach his ears.

Lee Min-jae started shouting loud enough to shake the ER.

“Professor Cheon!!!
This kid is insane!!!!
He just saved someone’s life, and not in some ordinary way!!!”

“Ahh, please be quiet, Dr. Lee Min-jae!!!
Please!!!”

I almost cried as I grabbed his arm, but it was already too late.

Every medical staff member at the station stared at us in shock.

I felt like my face was about to explode from embarrassment.

In that moment, I truly wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

Fortunately or unfortunately, it seemed Professor Cheon Eun-jeong wasn’t nearby.

After shouting her name a few more times, Lee Min-jae finally deflated.

“Huh, guess she’s not around.
I’ll tell her later.”

He gave my shoulder one last hard pat and headed back to the pediatric ER.

All my energy drained out.
My soul left my body.
It felt like the shame just now had burned through every last bit of adrenaline I had.

I stood there leaning against the wall in a daze when someone tapped me.

“Hey.”

It was the third-year, Han Jae-eon.

“The post-op bleeding patient’s guardian is here.
Go explain.”

“Huh?
Ah, yes!”

That finally snapped me back to reality.

Right.
My work wasn’t over yet.

I forced strength into my wobbling legs and headed to the consultation room.

A woman who looked to be in her fifties was sitting there, her face pale.

The patient’s mother.

I swallowed dryly and sat across from her.

“You’re the patient’s guardian, correct?
I’m Han Hyeon-jae from Emergency Medicine, the doctor who treated him just now.”

I tried my best to speak calmly and sound trustworthy.
Even though I was probably trembling.

“I’ll start with the conclusion.
Your son is okay for now.
His life is not in danger.”

“Really?
Is he really okay?”

“Yes.
He’s stable at the moment.
But until just now, it was a very critical situation.”

I began explaining the situation as simply as possible.

“Your son had a tonsillectomy about a week ago, and today a blood vessel at the surgical site ruptured, causing sudden and severe bleeding.”

I decided not to use the graphic phrase about blood spraying like a fountain.
I had at least that much sense.

“Clots from the bleeding blocked his airway, making it impossible for him to breathe.
When a person can’t breathe, brain damage occurs within minutes, followed by cardiac arrest.
In your son’s case, his heart could have stopped at any moment.”

The patient’s mother listened, biting her lip.

“So we performed an emergency procedure called endotracheal intubation.
We inserted a tube through the mouth into the airway to secure breathing with a ventilator.
Fortunately, the procedure was successful, and he is now breathing stably with the ventilator.
His vital signs are stable, and the bleeding has stopped for now.”

A single tear finally slipped from the patient’s mother’s eye.

“Thank you…
Thank you so much, doctor…”

“You’re welcome.
He’s probably been moved upstairs by now, and later a nurse will connect you with ENT as well.
They’ll explain everything in more detail.”

The explanation ended.

The patient’s mother bowed repeatedly, thanking me over and over.

As I accepted her gratitude, I felt that strange weight again.

Someone who pronounces hellish despair for some, and heaven-like hope for others.

Carrying all that weight, I left the consultation room.

It felt like not a single drop of strength remained in my body.

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